The Pit of Despair

You're tired of the pain, tired of the struggle, and weary of finding yourself in that same emotional space. Your prayers seem to get answered at times. You learn new truths, receive promises of things to come, and feel energized by knowing The Lord is so closely at your side; and then you find yourself in the Pit of Despair -again! This keeps happening over and over. Sometimes it seems like you're in it more than you're out of it. "What's going on?" you ask yourself. "How could this be happening again? What am I missing here? There has to be something...there must be."

You know that living this way cannot be right, and that this can't be the way you were permanently made to be. You know the Father, and that He does not create His children for the purpose of being in agony. If you have believed this for any period of time, you should know that this is a lie straight from the enemy. You were not created for pain, you were created for love. You were not created to endure nearly constant emotional turmoil, you were created to experience the healing that Christ gives. Yes, some suffering is necessary for the purpose of understanding Jesus' suffering, and to identify ourselves as His children; but this is ridiculous. This suffering is holding you back, preventing you from consistently participating in the calling Christ has given you. 

If you have been through much and learned much, but still find yourself in pain quite often, this may mean that you still have an open, gaping wound in your heart. You may have learned through your pain, but up to this point, it might only have been head-knowledge. The severe emotional lows you keep experiencing are evidence of this: that at least some of the things you have learned haven't made their way to your heart, which is where true emotional healing takes place. 

You must understand that there is a fine line between allowing yourself to be emotional because you're aware that God made you that way, and allowing your emotions to run rampant, causing you to be at their mercy. This can be considered a lack of self control. God may have created you to be a sensitive soul, but He never intended for you to be ruled by that sensitivity. When Peter attempted to rebuke the Lord for speaking of His own crucifixion which was about to happen, he was letting his emotions over the situation get the better of him -and what was Jesus' response? "Get thee behind Me Satan!" The Lord made a clear statement that Peter's emotional stance was wrong in every possible way; that allowing his emotions to control his behavior was the same as allowing himself to be controlled by the enemy.

I can't profess to know the answer, and I can't make the claim that I know exactly how your personal healing process needs to be done. What I can say is this: if nothing changes, nothing changes. You can receive the Father's teachings and promises of a brighter future, and your new knowledge can be evidence that some healing has taken place, but if you keep finding yourself in the Pit of Despair, clearly more healing needs to happen. 

If you keep finding yourself in the Pit, you may need help to get out of it, and I mean the help of your fellow man. We were all created to help and be helped by one another. God will sometimes come down in a powerful way and do bona fide bolt-of-lightning miracles, but that's not the only way He works. If that is the thing you keep looking for, you may be missing out on the more subtle miracle of being lifted out of the Pit by a friend in Christ. Say a prayer. Ask Him to make you open to any and every type of healing that He may have for you, and that you will be ready for it, whatever it is.

For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. For whoever lacks these qualities is so nearsighted that he is blind, having forgotten that he was cleansed from his former sins. (2 Peter 1:5-9 ESV)

A sound mind makes for a robust body, but runaway emotions corrode the bones. (Proverbs 14:30 MSG)

A glad heart makes a happy face; a broken heart crushes the spirit.

For the despondent, every day brings trouble; for the happy heart, life is a continual feast.

If you listen to constructive criticism, you will be at home among the wise. If you reject discipline, you only harm yourself; but if you listen to correction, you grow in understanding. Fear of the LORD teaches wisdom; humility precedes honor. (Proverbs 15:13, 15, 31-33 NLT)