Of Trump and Truth

Ok, I'm just going to jump into this: I've stood by & watched "christians" both perpetrate and encourage hatred for too long, and I must say, that this election process has been the nail in the coffin for me & my relationship with conservative evangelical Christianity. Truth be told, it was already being lowered into the ground. 

When I witnessed the vigor with which many "christians" were lauding Trump as being "chosen by God," readily excusing his unconscionable behavior and calling it "forgiveness" and going so far as to tell anyone willing to listen that God had commanded them to vote for Trump, I was finished. For anyone to suggest such a thing, is to completely ignore the fact that we were given free will, and His very clear command that we are to love each other, which also means respecting others' rights to make decisions for themselves that should only be between them & God. That kind of rhetoric turns God into a dictator, which He isn't. It was then that I realized the god they thought they were following isn't God at all. 

I still trust in God, and I believe 100% in His Word, but I will no longer listen to their "interpretation" of it or blindly accept everything they have to say about it without having my own conversation with God about it. That's what a relationship with God should be, after all. 

There are certain things that have been hammered into my brain during my mostly fundamentalist upbringing that have never matched up with the God I know, and now that I'm able to dig for answers, I'm finding that some of them are out there, for those of us who are willing to search them out. Might I suggest reading some Michael S. Heiser. He is a true Christian man who isn't afraid to study and figure out what scripture really says and interpret it accordingly, rather than interpreting it with preconceived beliefs in mind. You might find some of the things he has to say shocking. I don't even necessarily think he is correct about everything he says, but that's the beauty of having a relationship with God: it's between you & Him. No one is required to believe everything they've been told. It's much more beneficial to seek out what He has to say anyway. 

Lastly, as a survivor or abuse, I am simply incapable of being ok with what just happened in our country. I view the election of an obvious abuser (I know one when I see one, believe me) to the presidency as a threat to me personally, and I'm willing to, with God's help and blessing, do what is necessary to see that my safety is not jeopardized, and if that means putting up a fight, so be it. 

I'm clinging to the truth, and looking on the real bright side: maybe Jesus is coming much sooner than anyone can imagine. 😉

Running out of Hope

 

I'm running out of hope. A dream was planted within me; a dream that will not die...a dream that God created in me from the beginning. The dream comes from a very special gift He gave to me, along with a good idea of how I believe I'm meant to use it, and a promise from Him that I someday will. 

Along the way, the dream has grown...matured. I want nothing more than to use my gift for God's glory alone. It has also intensified. He has given me opportunity to develop it along the way, which has helped me to hang onto it, never letting it die...but I'm not getting any younger here, and while I know that I probably have quite a while before I'm out of time, I'm getting the increasing feeling that it's slipping away. I've begun to mourn the death of my dream, and when it hits me, it feels like my heart is being ripped out. 

It has to be the enemy who has been standing against me all this time. Certainly he doesn't want me using it, I might just crush his head.  

Over the years, I have had small glimpses of what it might be like to be used for God's glory because of the gifts He has given me, but nothing like what He promised me has ever come to fruition. I always end up on the sidelines, aching to do what I know I was created for. 

Can you imagine having a strong ability as well as a great desire to use it from childhood, and reaching middle age still waiting, still hoping with childlike faith that it will happen? I'm getting older, I'm tired, and I'm running out of hope. 

Found on the beach at Hug point, OR:

"My story starts at sea, a perilous voyage to an unknown land ~ A shipwreck. The wild waters roar and heave. The brave vessel is dashed to pieces, And all the helpless souls within her drowned. All save one, a lady, whose soul is greater than the ocean, and her spirit stronger than the sea's embrace. Not for her a watery end, but a new beginning on a stranger shore. It will be a love story, for she will be my heroine for all time."

You Are

You are one of the extraordinaries. You are one of the difference makers. Jesus  Himself put you here. This, I know. He created all things, including you, and there is purpose in every part of His creation, down to the last molecule. If a molecule has purpose, then there is definitely vastly more purpose in your existence, because Jesus Christ, the very creator of the universe, fashioned you with His own hands! ~Amy Rippee ©2015

Roots

I am far away, but reaching.
My seedling began on the Father's root
There has never been separation
But my growing shoot has trailed off afar
...a long and winding root
Gnarled and twisted
But still reaching...still touching
My branches stretch out like hands
Groping to find their origin
That place where my seedling began
But they grasp in all directions
Keeping me in one spot.

The Pit of Despair

You're tired of the pain, tired of the struggle, and weary of finding yourself in that same emotional space. Your prayers seem to get answered at times. You learn new truths, receive promises of things to come, and feel energized by knowing The Lord is so closely at your side; and then you find yourself in the Pit of Despair -again! This keeps happening over and over. Sometimes it seems like you're in it more than you're out of it. "What's going on?" you ask yourself. "How could this be happening again? What am I missing here? There has to be something...there must be."

You know that living this way cannot be right, and that this can't be the way you were permanently made to be. You know the Father, and that He does not create His children for the purpose of being in agony. If you have believed this for any period of time, you should know that this is a lie straight from the enemy. You were not created for pain, you were created for love. You were not created to endure nearly constant emotional turmoil, you were created to experience the healing that Christ gives. Yes, some suffering is necessary for the purpose of understanding Jesus' suffering, and to identify ourselves as His children; but this is ridiculous. This suffering is holding you back, preventing you from consistently participating in the calling Christ has given you. 

If you have been through much and learned much, but still find yourself in pain quite often, this may mean that you still have an open, gaping wound in your heart. You may have learned through your pain, but up to this point, it might only have been head-knowledge. The severe emotional lows you keep experiencing are evidence of this: that at least some of the things you have learned haven't made their way to your heart, which is where true emotional healing takes place. 

You must understand that there is a fine line between allowing yourself to be emotional because you're aware that God made you that way, and allowing your emotions to run rampant, causing you to be at their mercy. This can be considered a lack of self control. God may have created you to be a sensitive soul, but He never intended for you to be ruled by that sensitivity. When Peter attempted to rebuke the Lord for speaking of His own crucifixion which was about to happen, he was letting his emotions over the situation get the better of him -and what was Jesus' response? "Get thee behind Me Satan!" The Lord made a clear statement that Peter's emotional stance was wrong in every possible way; that allowing his emotions to control his behavior was the same as allowing himself to be controlled by the enemy.

I can't profess to know the answer, and I can't make the claim that I know exactly how your personal healing process needs to be done. What I can say is this: if nothing changes, nothing changes. You can receive the Father's teachings and promises of a brighter future, and your new knowledge can be evidence that some healing has taken place, but if you keep finding yourself in the Pit of Despair, clearly more healing needs to happen. 

If you keep finding yourself in the Pit, you may need help to get out of it, and I mean the help of your fellow man. We were all created to help and be helped by one another. God will sometimes come down in a powerful way and do bona fide bolt-of-lightning miracles, but that's not the only way He works. If that is the thing you keep looking for, you may be missing out on the more subtle miracle of being lifted out of the Pit by a friend in Christ. Say a prayer. Ask Him to make you open to any and every type of healing that He may have for you, and that you will be ready for it, whatever it is.

For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. For whoever lacks these qualities is so nearsighted that he is blind, having forgotten that he was cleansed from his former sins. (2 Peter 1:5-9 ESV)

A sound mind makes for a robust body, but runaway emotions corrode the bones. (Proverbs 14:30 MSG)

A glad heart makes a happy face; a broken heart crushes the spirit.

For the despondent, every day brings trouble; for the happy heart, life is a continual feast.

If you listen to constructive criticism, you will be at home among the wise. If you reject discipline, you only harm yourself; but if you listen to correction, you grow in understanding. Fear of the LORD teaches wisdom; humility precedes honor. (Proverbs 15:13, 15, 31-33 NLT)

Don't Absolutize the Relative

Walking in Love: Don't Absolutize the Relative

This excellent sermon really puts plainly why we are not to judge one another for our differences in how we worship God. We are all different. The world contains vastly different cultures that lend themselves to different types of worship and serving. Who are we to say someone else's service to God is being done wrong, just because our own convictions about it are different? Can't we all just get along? (click the link above to hear)